Remember HAPPY PEOPLE complain to find solutions

Remember HAPPY PEOPLE complain to find solutions

Not all complaints are eye rolls worthy.

According to a recent study shows, nagging done in a right way, can be an ice-breaker to some important unsaid discussions and even create a good impression.

Since our culture takes complaining as a bad habit, we from our childhood have learned to stay silent, even when there are are reasons to speak up. I believe that it is changing slowly. According to Robin Kowalski, professor of Psychology, at Clemson university in US, complaining can be used as a tool for bonding. This can help in processing our deep emotions like stress and frustration. Complaining in moderation can also be used as an ice breaker, to convey information about oneself so that others can form a particular impression of you. How ever what’s important here is to actually choose the right audience. It’s really important to find someone who you can confide in and who also supports your purpose.


Let’s talk few of the right ways of complaining.

1. Make your wallowing constructive When you share a story, you are actually making an intimate bond of friendship. This happens whenever you share an emotional truth about yourself that show where you are vulnerable. This makes the listener empathetic towards you which is a great bonding vehicle.

2. Know to wallow in a right manner Journalling about your thoughts that are upsetting you and speak about it to a friend. Take your time in choosing the person with deep care. While complaining try to understand yourself too.

3. It’s okay to vent yourself out casually at time While complaining is solution based and venting is not as focused on solution of the problem, but that does not mean that venting is bad. You should vent sometimes because it is cathartic. The positive part of venting is that it’s immediate. It actually allows you to unload and offload the emotional baggage which reduces your stress and unhappiness. But then it’s important that complaining gets solution oriented

4. Don’t just complain in a harsh manner, make it a positive expression Remember that voicing out too many expressive complaints may get you into a loop of negative thoughts. Modern life gives rise to a lot complaints but how many of it are really worth it?

When does effectively it can help you clearly understand what is actually bothering you. Since you are speaking out yourself loud or the person you are talking to shows you the perspective that you couldn’t see on your own as you are so wrapped up in your own feelings. The way you discloses your emotions.

JOURNAL ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE UPSETTING YOU OR SPEAK TO A CLOSE ONE, JUST BE HONEST WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND WITH YOURSELF. TAKE YOUR TIME IN CHOOSING THE RIGHT PERSON YOU WANT TO OPEN UP TO AND WHO HAS A DEEP CARE FOR YOU. AND ALSO REMEMBER WHILE COMPLAINING TRY TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF WHILE YOU ARE VOICING OUT YOUR THOUGHTS AND STAY TO THE POINT. SOMETIMES WHILE TELLING YOUR PROBLEM YOU END UP FIGURING OUT THE SOLUTIONS YOURSELF.

Travel during the pandemic

Travel during the pandemic

Last few days have been scary and also been lonely. Deserted roads and no flights, no rails. All places that used to be jam-packed seems closed.

We are just watching another wonder that happened in this world.

Many of us usually travel to see the breath taking sceneries and right now everything that you look around is just a stand still. We travel to witness the beautiful nature and different culture around but looks like everything we travel for are fast disappearing.

Online platforms are streaming these disappearing nature and cultures and I guess this is the best time to binge watch all that. This might remind us of the choices that we kept making and also will help you fulfil that wanderlust of yours.

So I guess the travel advice for today is to reflect on the how we can make better choices and better our life to help our planet and human kind.

Follow me on Instagram\ for more heart to heart conversations. Thanks for all the love and support you keep giving me.

Dusk to Dawn

Dusk to Dawn

By the evening the boats look calm.

Tied to the corner and other hand flowing apart.

I saw a person getting out of it

and his face was telling me the story of what a day it had been.

Tired and rested at the same time. His eyes kept rolling for the search of his being.

It’s time to go home and cook some food.

Honey i brought some fishes and so would you please.

Would you please groom it with the spices of yours

and help me get ready for the next day ahead.

The Ticking Cursor

The Ticking Cursor

The ticking cursor irritates me, as if it’s teasing me.

Teasing me, staring at me, as if it doesn’t give a ****.

I kept looking back at it, asking him to shut up.

But my brains shut and my heart opens, trying to write all the shit that just happened.

Why can’t my thoughts process slow, slower than my hand move,

Why can’t my hands move faster as if it’s my mobile keypad.

Write, write, write and what not to write, What if someone reads,

I kept stopping myself, whenever I felt it is just my belief.

Belief to fall in love and rise again or just keep drowning to the deepest shit.

My heart knew what I felt but my hands kept moving totally extremes.

As if my hands could think, of those unsaid flings.

Published: https://poetsindia.com/author/anujap/page/3/

New Vlog of an old Trip – It’s London Baby

Hello Guys!

I visited the United Kingdom in 2017, and finally, after almost 2 years, I edited it.

It was a conference where I got a chance to present my research paper and also show my documentary on Gender Equality in India.

The vibe of this place is so amazing, the people are helpful, cheerful and happy, and commuting is super interesting with all the tunnel train, tube trains. I enjoyed my stay of 15 days.

Places I visited:

1. Basingstoke

2. Oxford

3. Brighton

4. London

5. Shrewsbury

From lovely evenings with family and friends to introduce to people from different parts of the world at the conference, to listening to Jazz for the first time, also those walks of Baker Street, I can never forget the Oxford hop on, hop off buses.

I must have seen the Oxford town for almost 3 times in one day, the Harry Potter dining hall and that Alice in Wonderland.

Thanks to my love for solo traveling, I got to see so many beautiful places.

I hope you guys enjoy watching, because I definitely enjoyed making it.

Love you all…

Let’s rule summer like a queen

The right clothes to rule summers like a pro Make yourself ready for those lazy days and hot nights, because it’s summer and before you plan any warm-weather adventures, make sure your wardrobe is up to mark for it. These are the outfit ideas which will help take your A game in getting dressed this summer and also rule it like a pro.

Enjoy the summers and do share your outfit ideas for the summer.

Love you all……

Yercaud: Being beautifully offbeat with best buddy

Started that Saturday with the feeling of having an amazing breakfast far from the city but ended up going on a road trip was one of the best thing that has happened in 2019 till date. Well I am talking about start of February. The first week of the month, all charged up.

Yercaud is such a relaxing and calm place. Being there on the weekend was like fuelling myself up for the month ahead.

This is the amazing place where we stayed.

With lots of greenery around, I just wanted to relax and do no adventure at this time. And believe me, this is I guess the best place for that.

Place: Yellow Lake Resort

If you are in Bangalore, take a weekend of no planning and stay in Yercaud and relax yourself with the spa and sun rise which just relaxes you and makes you ready for the week and month ahead.

3 hours from Bangalore, I found a place where I can just relax and get ready for another month.

The spa , the morning tea, the bonfire, the games everything combined up to be an awesome weekend.

Planning another trip soon.

Until next time. XOXO…

Just some lights far far away

Just some lights far far away

Walking the lights far far away feels like destination approaching near.

Walking towards it feels as I should be fast and do not fear.

What if the lights go off or I tremble on my way.

Once there I just see a mirage and just no other way.

Wondering if I should wait for something real or I should just leave by a turn that is near.

Rising High

Rising High

Every building has a story to tell, every window has a face to share.

It’s just my perspective that matter.

Sometimes it’s a mother, with those wet clothes,

Or it’s the dad with some ashes to throw.

Sometimes it’s cradle with a warm smile

Or it’s a girl with those damp eyes.

Look closely and I see the story clear

The story of her heart, that is again broken and tear.

She trys to hold tight, trying to forget what just went inside.

Telling herself to calm down, because it’s just day 1 and 364 days still undercount.

Let’s not get deep, and let her be on her own. 

Because when I turned the mirror said, babe, it’s only you.